roy's onion

(originally written in response to a post by my cousin on facebook.)

this is dedicated to my cousin - who, like me enjoys solipsistic analysis - & any others who enjoy peeling back to reveal the layers beneath ...

* my worldview is naturalistic. i arrived at it initially through curiosity, appreciation of aesthetic beauty & the fresh air on offer. since i acquired the skill, bookishness supplied & verified the evidence & answers i crave. it consistently throws up more questions which prick my curiosity further. consequently i have a reasonable understanding of the natural world, accept the physical & don't seek the meaning of life in the conventional sense or "believe" in a supernatural realm. i think humans can learn much from observing the natural world. (the jury's still out on the metaphysical; the early evidence for discoveries at nano- & sub-particle levels are quite compelling.) i think the notion of "mystery" is simply the unexplained we don't yet have sufficient knowledge of to understand. in my view the scientific method is the most reliable system we have to develop beyond the mysterious & natural selection the most plausible explanation yet for the origins of life. its encouraging that science is an ideology which encourages freethought, criticism, review & admits its shortcomings. there is a lot of bad science out there too. i am dismayed that many humans wilfully squander their intellect to ignorance & remain entranced by superstition. do you think its incuriosity?

* which gets me exercised about ... god/s. i think he, she, it &/or they are products of human imagination. the redundant slur of the religious believer - atheism - applies universally; with the exception of the one god (or more, if you're a multitheist) that believers make concessions for they're as atheistic about all the others they don't "believe in". the notion of worship is too darn grovellingly dehumanising for my taste. it wastes precious time which may be more productively spent understanding onesself & the world around one. so to worship something which may or may not exist is absurd. i think pascal's wager is the grudging surrender of a terrorised absolutist.

* moving swiftly onto religious faith & religion ... faith arguments are pithy to the point of implausibility. for example, the claims made by the so-called holy texts (of abrahamic religions) are unconvincing & to me patently the work of human ingenuity. it is a reasonably small minority who share this opinion, but its not unique. i don't accept that faith is the superior third way that believers' piously claim it to be. nor do i think religion should continue to enjoy the disproportionate privilege or authority in society it has for millenia. i do acknowledge that it has some benefits; fellowship & charitable works just two of them. there are more. for those, no god is required. i think that on balance its divisiveness & absolutism make it a malign force in contemporary society. as a political tool for order & control it once served a purpose, at the cost of development & progress. i'll settle on secularism, which tolerates personal belief. & disbelief. (& if you're interested in debating religious faith's contamination of morals & ethics - particularly relating to gender & sexuality - i'd be happy to oblige.)

* on my skepticism. this is a consequence of a contemplative nature (what i call i-thunking). i don't think my agnostic, freethinking father realised the profound effect his encouragement to "question EVERYTHING" had on his curious youngest daughter. on occasion my conservative mother - suspicious of modernity despite enjoying its comforts & uncomfortable with the spectrum of grey that is human complexity - still implores me to "stop thinking so much". she refers to my failure to arrive at definitive or absolute conclusions as fence sitting. i see it as consideration of various perspectives & openness to new evidence. (this is a significant threat if one buys the marketing shpiel on some fundie church billboards). skepticism can be exhausting, challenging & annoying. to the skeptic too. its not everyone's teabag.

* which leads to ... conversation. i think its an artform not valued highly enough for its merits. there is an overabundance of superficial babble & sadly, opinion is all too often a whinge about the media's current subject matter. it is rare to encounter original thought. rarer the opportunity engage or delve in considerable depth into a subject. i find it refreshing to encounter opposing opinions, ideas or dissent & energetically spar with debate, criticism, disagreement, pursuasion or negotiation. especially fuelled by some or other form of refreshment.

* which gets me in mind of ... wine. despite concerted effort over the years i have never developed a palate for the grape. or the hops, for that matter. to me they smell too much like vinegar & vomit respectively. (i hope that doesn't influence your preference for tipple.) i find the aroma & taste of alcohol in general repulsive. if its disguised by fruit juice or some soda mixer its sufficiently palatable & i tolerate its effects in moderation. i enjoyed them in considerable abundance in my 20s. very occasionally - out of politeness - i will quaff a quarter glass of wine over a meal. i have found that my distaste for it has revealed a suspicion of teetotallism. when pushed to explain this the offerer can be left feeling awkward or unsatisfied by what he or she possibly deems my uncharitability & this can be tiresome. i empathise with dry alcoholics who must also sometimes find it so. in my 20's i experimented with the softer of recreational drugs & for a period enjoyed their largely soporific effects. my drugs of choice nowadays are sugar & tea. in moderation.

* callan is the (sole) unplanned & very wanted work-in-progress of my considered nurturing & a whole lot of input from many, many others who have touched her life. her upbringing has been intuitively experimental inasmuch as i felt it necessary to facilitate her exposure to as many experiences as i was able. it has been variously exciting, interesting & terrifying. our relationship is not a traditional one. my role as parent is not one journeyed superficially or without intent & i have on occasion been accused of irresponsibility. that she is healthy, happy, sociable, independent, articulate, opinionated, fiercely intelligent & reasonably fearless reinforces my confidence in my abilities thusfar. family values - or any other limiting labels beloved of party politics, had nothing to do with it. enlighten me as to their merits anyway. why limit a child's development to the cloyingly narrow confines of the family unit? how much more is there out there to learn from the wider world? beware though, a taste for knowledge early on can wear a parent down. or out.

* i am inspired by many great people whose solitary obsessions made significant contributions to humanity's advancement. my mental wellbeing is nourished by stillness & order in my life, which gives me space to cogitate. i strive for an ideal balance of empathy for others with a strong sense of self. despite intense sociability - on my terms - i value self sufficiency & independence highly. i am sometimes perceived by others as detached, or mistaken as cynical or hard hearted. my material needs are few & with the exception of books, stuff is burdensome. i suppose that's trite when one's gathered 40+ years of possessions. by today's consumerist standards many would judge me disadvantaged due to a dearth of electronic gadgetry. discussion about aspiring to ownership of status symbols is the one subject i find awfully boring & which you'll find me woefully ignorant about. i happily admit to intellectual neediness.

* my interests in history, culture, politics & life in general have been significantly enriched since i moved to scotland. its very different from my interests while living in south africa. some of that is probably down to maturity. i imagine the same applies to immigrants from other new world countries, but i think a some of it has to do with having lived in south africa during a particularly inhumane & unjust period of its history. i am still working through some saffy baggage, which is sufficiently processed to consider myself liberated from the issues to focus my energy on feeding my need to keep learning. on the history front i have a bit of a passion for the enlightenment & the victorian era. i am very fortunate to have edinburgh, whose charm never ceases to captivate me, close by. the rest of the british isles are abundant with sufficient to keep me enthralled for a long, long time. i am thankful for having chosen to relocate to such an interesting place, populated by interesting people & with the freedom to participate more fully in a civil society. there's a whole world out there, though & i wouldn't rule out living elsewhere in future if the notion took me.